I worked with a family last year who had a puppy we'll call Lilly. This family had three young and spirited children. Lilly was purchased from a breeder and from the day she came home, she was showered with love and affection. After a few months of living with Lilly, her owners couldn't understand why their sweet, fluffy puppy was beginning to growl, bark, and in some cases, snarl at anyone who tried to pet her. They were terrified Lilly was going to bite someone and I think that fear was very close to becoming a reality. What they didn't know at the time was that the way they played with, loved on, and handled Lilly was teaching her that this was the only way she could say, "no" and humans would listen.

In my previous post, I discussed some common displacement behaviors dogs exhibit when they are feeling uncomfortable—but what happens when those indicators are ignored and dogs are thrust further into interactions they do not enjoy or maybe even find threatening? Many times, a negative reaction occurs and people think it came "out of nowhere," but nothing truly happens out of nowhere.

I did a consult last night for dog who had a very different start in life—we'll call him Buddy. When Buddy was just a puppy, he and a litter mate were found in a vacant apartment, matted to the skin, and covered with fleas. His new family doesn't know much about his background aside from this, but it is safe to assume that he was probably severely under-socialized (if at all) and neglected at best. Buddy has lived a pretty charmed life since his family adopted him last year, but he is still very fearful of strangers and even some people he's known for quite a while. For Buddy, this looks like barking, running to a hiding spot, cowering, and sometimes even urinating. Everyone who meets or spends time with Buddy wants to show him love through praise and petting, but this is closer to a nightmare than a happy occurrence for him.

When we repeatedly violate our dogs' space and place our own wants above their needs, we set them up for more behavioral problems down the line. This is never done intentionally, people just aren't born being well-versed in dog communication and we tend to think we can win them over with enough belly rubs. So, what should you do instead?

1. Study your dog! Get very good at reading their body language and learning what they are and are not comfortable with.
2. Respect your dog's space. Provide a quiet, secure area your dog can retreat to and not be disturbed.
3. Advocate for your dog. Do not let strangers (or anyone) touch your dog unless your dog has initiated the contact.
4. Acknowledge that just because something is ordinary to you, does not mean it isn't scary for your dog.
5. Accept that forcing your dog to do something they are fearful of will not help them to "get over it," but it will make things worse—do not force your dog into any situation they perceive to be scary.
6. Seek help from a certified, R+ dog trainer.
7. Consider speaking with your vet about behavior medication options. *Any sudden change in behavior warrants a trip to the vet to rule out underlying medical conditions*

Lilly and Buddy had two polar-opposite beginnings, but there is a common thread. In Lilly's case, there was rarely a quiet moment, no reprieve, and absolutely no boundaries. For Buddy, it is likely that there was just very little human interaction during his puppyhood. Both of these dogs have had their feelings ignored and the fallout was serious.

After enough consultation and efforts to improve dynamics, Lilly's family made the difficult, but selfless decision to accept that they were not the best option for each other. Lilly has since been placed with a loving couple who have committed to providing her with an environment she welcomes and they are all thriving. Buddy's parents have decided to give medication a try while we work on his behavior modification. I have high hopes for both dogs and am proud of their families for making the choice to learn and meet their dogs where they are—nothing happens out of nowhere.